TEDx Inspired Tips
I found myself in an interesting position as both a speaker and speaker coach for TEDx Savannah, which proved illuminating on a variety of levels. Not only was I simultaneously a coach coaching others, and a speaker being coached, but I was a speaker being coached alongside other speakers being coached by other coaches. Which means I was able to witness how other speakers reacted to other coaches’ remarks, while processing my own habits as both a speaker and a coach.
The entire experience stimulated more psychological, emotional, and professional introspection than I’d anticipated when electing to give a ten-minute talk. Perhaps I’ll reserve the deeper reflections as fodder for my memoir, but in the meantime, I wanted to share a few takeaways that I felt could benefit anyone:
1. We simply don’t know what we don’t know. I’ve worked as a speech coach for 8 years now, meaning I effectively earn a living by helping people hone their delivery. Hence you can imagine my particular level of surprise when I realized just how poorly I was able to evaluate my own delivery. Without an outside eye to provide input, and concentrated rehearsal on my part, I frankly was not coming across the way I thought or intended. Despite filming myself and watching back repeatedly, there were subtleties I failed to see or feel the way someone else could.
2. People react differently. I was simultaneously receiving feedback from the TEDx coaching team, my own speech coach, my colleagues, and my friends. Certain themes arose among them, clarifying what would benefit most from adjusting. Some suggestions, however, completely contradicted one other, and I wasn’t sure whose advice to follow. I would advocate for (and did) prioritizing professional guidance over casual feedback from friends, but at the end of the day…
3. It is your speech. Because opinions vary and sometimes even contradict, it’s ultimately up to you as the speaker to determine what aligns with how you wish to come across. We can use feedback to understand how we come across based on elements of delivery, then experiment with what elicits the reactions we’re hoping for.
4. It is not about you. Yes, what you say and how you say it is ultimately your decision, and you should feel like your most authentic self. The point of giving a speech, though, is usually not for personal catharsis. Typically, the “why” behind any sort of public speaking engagement is for the benefit of the audience, not the speaker per se (unless you’re hosting an event designed as such). You may (and should!) feel a personal sense of accomplishment by sharing your message. At the same time, it can be helpful to prioritize the audience’s experience over our own. Pro tip: this actually takes a looooot of pressure off, as it shifts the “me me me” mindset we often fall into as speakers!
5. Prepare in advance - then let it go when you get there. Weeks and days leading up to the event, I practiced a positive visualization technique in which you essentially visualize yourself walking onto the stage, saying every word perfectly, feeling exactly as you wish to feel. It left me feeling energized and inspired every time - except the day of the event. When I practiced the visualization about an hour before taking the stage, I started to feel jitters for the first time that day. I generally find it helpful to focus on anything other than the speech for the hours leading up to it. Last minute mental rehearsal seemed to backfire for me (though some people found it helpful!). As my dad advised the night before, “treat it like an exam: you just have to trust you studied enough and see what comes out tomorrow.”
6. “Just be conversational” is, ironically, quite tricky. Many people (myself included) unconsciously slip into a “performance” or “presentation” mode when put in front of a crowd. While at times appropriate and necessary, this can detract from the audience’s ability to fully connect with the speaker. It often takes a combination of psychological digging (e.g. getting to the root emotion behind that tone) and experimentation with delivery to get comfortable conversing with the crowd - particularly when the speech must be memorized verbatim.
I've always thought of speech coaching a bit like makeup: the trick is to make it look like you’re not wearing any. My clients often remark that speaking “must be easy for me.” But quite honestly…that’s not always the case! Some of the most “natural looking” speakers are those who have dedicated the most time and attention to their delivery.
Rest assured that these skills do flow more naturally with time - I certainly don’t struggle with public speaking the way I once did due to a lot of concentrated effort. My personal greatest obstacle with TEDx stemmed from the fact that I happened to be sharing something delicate and emotionally charged.
It was worth every second of effort I put into it. I hope you watch the talk, and that it makes you think a little, feel a lot, chuckle a tad, and perhaps even shift your relationship to time.
For questions or personalized guidance, please reach out!