The Problem with “Independence”
We live in an age that glorifies an independent lifestyle, which comes from a beautiful place, often only possible with a certain level of privilege. However, it can become toxic if we’re not careful. Humans are wired to be social creatures, after all.
Independent Misconception
Independent are we
in this modern age
Radical self-sufficiency
has become all the rage
It’s a blessing, we’re told
meant for liberation
But if I’m not careful
it becomes a sneaky source of stagnation
“You’re so resilient,”
they praise me
Daily I journal, pray, meditate
Left to my own devices
even in crisis
I find myself a solid state
I have a peace within
that I wouldn't trade for gold
But I’d be lying not to admit:
self-soothing…gets kind of old
Even the prettiest silhouettes cast shadows
and this one can be long
When we poorly redefine
what it means to be strong
“Be a strong, independent woman
who can do it all on her own!”
That has got to be the worst advice I’ve ever known
Newsflash:
human beings were not designed to function alone
‘Dependence’ shouldn't be a curse word
We can rely on other people
There's a risk, I know
Humans can be deceitful
But asking for help has become some courageous act of vulnerability
to which we resort only of necessity
Sometimes we’ve no choice -
autonomy is required
I can pay my bills, fight my demons, air my own tires
But I find people generally actually want to assist
What we feel is selfish to ask
gives them a sense of purpose
We’re told to serve the world
but if we don’t let ourselves be served
We risk robbing other people
of a sort of healing they deserve
A one man band is impressive
but a symphony makes magic
Our glorification of solitude
has become something tragic
Just because we can
doesn’t mean that we must
Our wings can soar to greater heights
among a flock that we can trust
So lean on someone else’s arm
at times you feel unsteady
And when your friend has a win,
celebrate them with confetti
We all need cheerleaders
and wanting that isn’t a sin
Keep in mind, without encouragement
no body can win
if we’re all existing on islands
wishing we could converge
but too afraid to be the first to suggest that we merge
then it’s time to restore our human nature
as members of a pack
We can reach our highest good far faster
when we have each other’s backs
POWER MOVE: Choose one thing this week that you can either ask for help with or talk through with a friend (rather than relying on yourself to handle it on your own).
Notice how they react to helping. Chances are, they’ll be glad to!