Is it weird they don’t notice?

Sometimes I cry during my Zoom calls with clients. They don’t even notice. With my oversized blue light glasses and habitual smile, I don’t skip a beat. Can they not see the tears? Do they choose to ignore them? Never once has a client stopped and asked if I’m alright.

They recite articulation while I contemplate my options for lethal injection.

It surprises me how often I get away with bawling in private only for a person to speak to me within minutes, having not a clue of the fresh tears drying on my cheeks. My make up somehow never runs. Surely my eyes must be red? Perhaps they don’t feel equipped to handle an emotional woman and opt to ignore it instead. Most of the time, though, I think they legitimately have no idea.

Should I be offended that no one takes heed? Or grateful that I’m free to wallow without having to explain myself?